Holy Startitis Batman!!

I know, I know...I have been rather frighteningly neglectful of my blog of late. It's not for lack of caring, I swear! I have just been really busy, although I will admit that in a lull I considered blogging but vetoed the idea because I realized it took away from precious knitting time.
I finished the asymmetrical cardi and it's freaking awesome! You'll just have to take my word for it because I don't have a pic of it (as usual) and I am at work-my boss might think it was strange if I just up and started taking photos of myself... To give you an idea of it's awesomeness I constantly get complimented on the sweater by friends and strangers alike. Not only that I have had non-homosexual men tell me they think it's nice and they like the colour! So yeah, it rocks, and I loves it.
The bad thing is, after finishing the aforementioned wicked sweater, I have the worst case of startitis! I tried to start the Aeolian Shawl but i have had nothing but trouble with it...this is largely due to my complete inability to read lace charts. I mean, I know how, and I can do it-but somehow when I do lace with a chart it's WRONG! Nearly every row I end up with the wrong number of stitches. I have identified all things I do wrong-e.g forgetting yarn overs, doing a knit stitch automatically after a yarn over but forgetting to count it, etc. Actually, pretty much all my problems with lace chart centre around yarn overs. But even though I know what I am doign wrong, I keep doing it. I feel like I am taking a bat and beating myself in the forehead with it over and over again and then asking "Why do I have a headache." I got to the point where I was 4 stitches out on one row and I yelled "F@*! it" and threw it across the room.
So then I started working on designing my entrelac noro vest...and that was a fantastic learning experience. I learned that I don't know how to count. Seriously, somebody needs to find my kindergarten teacher (her name is Mrs. Gillis and she teaches at St. Mary's in Chilliwack...I think she is still teaching...) and fire her ass, because apparently she let me out of kindergarten unable to count. No really, I counted those damn cast-on stitches 8 times. When I got the same number twice I knit the first row, at the end of the row I recounted and it was out, and no matter how many times I recounted I couldnt' get the same number twice in a row. So I decided to start over and cast on using stitch markers to keep track, except I found that I was unable to frog my knititng because the Noro I was using has a shelf life of 2 months and dissolved upon contact. No really, ended up with 50 little pieces of Noro suited for rug hooking. It kind of makes me wonder if there was a secret misison in the yarn that I somehow overlooked and it self-destructed 5 minutes after using/reading it.
So I decided to start knitting a scarf, simple, mindless. It's working so far but I don't have my hopes up. It's the multi-directional diagonal scarf but I am knitting it out of crazy mohair. Like super-hairy muppet blinding colour mohair. It should be very awesome, or very scary-either way I will be happy.
Meanwhile, while I am doing all of this I SHOULD be finishing the Kilosweater. I have the yarn spun, it's ready to go, the last sleeve is on the needles-but I dont' enjoy knittin git anymore because it was such a dissapointment. But I HAVE to finish it this week since it's for my friend's ANGEE's birthday (which was last week...I know, I am a bad friend...)
Anyhoo, that's the crazy quick update on my life, there's more super cool things going on, but since my lunch break is now over I feel this nagging obligation to go back to work.
Ta ta
(That's right, I totally said "Ta ta")

Great Balls of Fire!

That's how I feel right now, like my knitting is going at the speed of light-SWOOSH!!
Of course I have now come to the slow entrelac band at the bottom and I still have 3 miles of sleeves to go, but I comfort myself with the fact that I could do the entrelac band on the bottom and cast off the sleeves if I really wanted to. I don't really want to, I absolutely love the sleeves, but I am sorely tempted...
I am already thinking of my next project-although I haven't decided which it is. I am tempted by this

I love this sweater, but the whole entire thing is honeycomb which I am strongly suspicious of, I know it would look awesome-but I also know it would take forever and there would be a lot of room for error...I can see myself making an insignificant mistake and not noticing it for 10 rows and feeling like I HAVE to rip it out. I could modify it and do it in stocking stitch, but I don`t think I would like it as much...I guess I can`t be surprised that I want the difficult!
My other option for my next big project is I have a noro entrelac vest planned. I don`t have a pattern for it, I would like to design it myself. Since I am still fairly novice I am a little daunted by this, but I find myself constantly designing in my head and even in my sleep so I figured I had better get started on that before my brain explodes.
OK, one last thing before I return to my sweater and Shaw on Demand (which I just found out has FREE movies too!) I would like to share with you the BEST joke in the world. I have retold this joke over a dozen times and I laugh like a loon EVERYTIME I hear it. It is the only funny thing that measures up to the Wendy`s commercial with the Air Supply Burger (Making Love...Out of Nothing At All...Out of Nothing At Aaaallll...)

What do vegetarian zombies eat...
GRAAAAIIINNNSSSS

Full credit has to go to my older brother for exposing me to that one via facebook.

The Neverending Story

Atreyu!!!
That's how I feel right now with my current project...it...never...ends...
Yes my first sweater, and I decided on a simple pattern, not really noting how much yarn it took and the connotations to said yarn amounts. I know, crazy. Crazy to start a sweater without paying attention to yarn amounts. What can I say, I am spinning the yarn myself, so the sheer volume of yarn needed didn't really catch my eye. You could say that I totally freakin' ignored it. Although I have named the project now...it's the Kilosweater. Because when I am done it's going to weigh at least kilogram. By the time I am finished spring will have sprung and I will have no use for the -40 winterweight sweater for several months.
The first part of the sweater went like a breeze! The piece for the back which is hunormous (I just made that word up 'cause I am a genius) had six million miles of stocking stitch. When I finished it, the sweater was over a third done and it had only taken 3 days... The 2 front pieces are hideous vortexes of mind-numbing knitting. Millions of miles of yarn have passed under my fingers, all for a sweater I merely like. I don't love this sweater. I never have. It's not like I started out in love and after all the work I had to put it into it I said "meh" (although that does sound like a past relationship or two I have had). I knit it because it was easy, and I didn't HATE it. I have several sweaters that I want to knit next, but I didn't think I should jump in and knit complicated sweaters immediately. This was a huge step for me. Usually I dive in headfirst and then realize I don't know how to swim very well. For once I was good, for once I followed logic, for once I tried to walk before I could run. How has that worked for me? Imagine me sobbing, drinking gallons of Dr. Pepper, desperately trying to find shows or movies to watch while I knit miles upon miles of stocking stitch for a sweater I like. Just writing about it is making me...ancy...
I have been knitting swatches to take the edge off. SWATCHES! EGAD I MUST BE LOSING MY MIND!! I have been knitting entrelac swatches and I find them exciting and thrilling and beautiful. All it takes to break up the hideous monontony of stocking stitch is to do multidirection stocking stitch...
Excuse me, I have to go knit some more now...