Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tentative Love

I think I love the sweater I am knitting. But I am loathe to admit it fully. I worry that I will love it and it will burn me in the end, just like the fabled kilosweater...I stop every once and a while and just look at it. People that see this just assume I am looking it over and making sure everything is in order, but to be honest I am rather lustfully gazing at it and imagining myself wearing it in a beautiful spring meadow. I imagine that I will look svelte and slim in it. I imagine I will look elegant. I think about how I can't wait for us to be together. Than I remember the Kilosweater...and I start thinking about how it can't really be what it's pretending to be. That it is just being pretty and everything I want to trick me. I think that when I get further along in our knitting relationship I will find that it was all a huge lie and it doesn't love me the way I love it.
But what if it does love me? Then I am doing it wrong by not giving it the benefit of the doubt. So I stroke it and whisper gently "I think I could love you, but it's too soon...too soon..."

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