I Told You So

Sans Camera

So I have one sleeve left to do on my sweater! I would prove it to you but it appears that I have misplaced my camera...but really, I am not lying.
A couple things about this sweater-if I did it again I would change the sleeve decreases-they are super visible and not particularly attractive. One of the things I did with this sweater is rather than change the needles to make gauge, I knit a larger size. This ended in more knitting for me (I had to go 2 sizes up) but I think I like it better because if I had done it to gauge it would have been knit really loose. However...apparently when I knit with dpn's for the sleeves, rather than the circular for the body...well...apparently then I got gauge exactly...which means the sleeves are rather large...I can't quite bring myself to rip it out and do smaller sleeves-but I think it might look OK with the style of the sweater to have large flowy sleeve-and I am trying really hard to make sure I am not just saying that to make it less work for me...
I always have a million things for my "next project" and one of them is a top down raglan cardigan in a bulky yarn. The sweater is called Wrenna from "French Girl Knits" by Kristeen Griffin-Grimes. Check it out here if you have a Ravelry account. It is a super awesome pattern book. It's all lady like stuff that even a butch tom-boy like me would wear! I love the book and plan on knitting several of the patterns in it. The sweater is only 400 yards. Did you hear that? FOUR HUNDRED! I am labouring under the misconception that I could knit 400 yards in like 2 days. After all the sweater I am knitting now is 1200 yards and it will take me about 20 days...hold the phone...the math doesn't really work for that does it? I am pretty sure I will find some crazy rift in the space time continuum that will allow me to knit a sweater in 2 days... OK maybe that's crazy. Lets try for 4 days...I can knit a pair of socks out of 200 yards in 2 days easy so maybe 4 days isn't crazy...even if the sock was stocking stitch and the sweater is lace.
So that's my challenge. A sweater in 4 days, barring any huge complications. Here's the plan. I will start the sweater when I know I will have some good solid knitting time. I will knit and knit like a mofo. If something crazy comes up and I miss a whole day of knitting I am going to minus that day off my total knitting days (and I don't give a damn if that's cheating-it's my challenge, I can do what I want *this is me sticking out my tongue*). I will try to write a note every day of the 4 day challenge outlining my progress (or declaring it a dead day). If I succeed I will make a certificate for myself and put it on my wall next to my University degree. It will say something like "Let it forever be known that Caroline the Great succeeded in knitting a sweater in 4 days. I also expect a whole bunch of praise from my readers (all 2 or 3 of you).
So that's my challenge, what do you think?

...I don't even want to think about what will happen if I fail-I would lose all credibility, I would lose the respect from my readers, I would quit knitting and fall in to an ever decreasing spiral of depression and loneliness...I might take up crocheting...than as the slow spirals sinks down I wouldl ose my jobs and be forced to live on the streets going by clever hobo monikers such Dumpster Dick and my life would be over as I know it...but let's not even think about that...

The Plague!!

Apparently I have "THE" plague. I haven't gone to the doctor about it because I don't want to be thrown into some kind of freaking quarantine being poked and prodded by people in Tyvek suits and face plates that reflect back at you so you don't know what they look like.
I keep thinking of Stephen King's The Stand and I can't decide if I am upset or pleased that I am the harbinger of death.
I didn't go to work today. I HATE missing work. It's not that I hate not working, it's that I hate the diminishing numbers on my paycheque. Since today I am completely non-functioning unless I slam back the Neo-Citran and I am one of those people that is a completely unsafe driver when I drink the crap, I decided to stay home. I toyed briefly with the idea of being Typhoid Mary and taking the transit bus-calmly sitting there, knitting away (it would be so cool if I could knit on the way to work) giving those poor hapless people the sweet, sweet gift that I am apparently carrying in my body. But good sense got the better of me, I would probably fall asleep on the bus and be that crazy person nobody wants to talk to or sit next to (although that's not really a con.)
So instead I am sitting in my lovely warm basement (my husband bought me one of those fake woodstoves, they really pump out the heat!) knitting and reading ebooks. I kept thinking about how I wish I could read while I was knitting, and I considered audiobooks, but they are so slow compared to my regular reading speed, so I have opted for ebooks. I now wish I could find a way to put more words on a page so that I don't have to push page down so often-but that is a small price to pay to be able to indulge in two of my favourite past times at the same time!
By the way, I almost done the bottome band of my sweater-then it is on to the sleeves! only a few more days and I am finished!!

I AM ATLAS!

I just spent the last hour and a half untangling a skein. Not just any skein mind you, but a 200gm skein of 437 yards DK weight. to give you an idea of the sheer mass of yarn that comes in one of these monstrous skeins, keep in mind that I am knitting myself a long sleeve, long sweater in a 1x size and only using 3 skeins (probably just under 3 skeins). This skein was hell on earth. It was like the person that was running the machine that skeins the yarn fell asleep at the controls and periodically would shift in their sleep causing the machine to go reverse and forwards at random intervals. It was a hideous mass of messiness.
I ended up having to wind it by hand, which wouldn't have been so bad except that I had to weave the ball I was winding in and out of the skein to untangle it. Seriously, I ended up with a ball of yarn that is almost as big as my head. And my noggin is on the ginormous side...

Everything was going so well with the sweater, and I was SO happy, that I must have seriously pissed off the knitting gods...I was going to say something about how it could be worse, but I think I shall refrain until the damn thing is finished!

If you read in the paper about how some crazy woman beat the crap out of some poor underpaid wool mill worker, know that they deserved it!

Great Balls of Fire!

That's how I feel right now, like my knitting is going at the speed of light-SWOOSH!!
Of course I have now come to the slow entrelac band at the bottom and I still have 3 miles of sleeves to go, but I comfort myself with the fact that I could do the entrelac band on the bottom and cast off the sleeves if I really wanted to. I don't really want to, I absolutely love the sleeves, but I am sorely tempted...
I am already thinking of my next project-although I haven't decided which it is. I am tempted by this

I love this sweater, but the whole entire thing is honeycomb which I am strongly suspicious of, I know it would look awesome-but I also know it would take forever and there would be a lot of room for error...I can see myself making an insignificant mistake and not noticing it for 10 rows and feeling like I HAVE to rip it out. I could modify it and do it in stocking stitch, but I don`t think I would like it as much...I guess I can`t be surprised that I want the difficult!
My other option for my next big project is I have a noro entrelac vest planned. I don`t have a pattern for it, I would like to design it myself. Since I am still fairly novice I am a little daunted by this, but I find myself constantly designing in my head and even in my sleep so I figured I had better get started on that before my brain explodes.
OK, one last thing before I return to my sweater and Shaw on Demand (which I just found out has FREE movies too!) I would like to share with you the BEST joke in the world. I have retold this joke over a dozen times and I laugh like a loon EVERYTIME I hear it. It is the only funny thing that measures up to the Wendy`s commercial with the Air Supply Burger (Making Love...Out of Nothing At All...Out of Nothing At Aaaallll...)

What do vegetarian zombies eat...
GRAAAAIIINNNSSSS

Full credit has to go to my older brother for exposing me to that one via facebook.

Singing in the Rain!

Today is the first time it has rained since November! I cannot even begin to describe how happy I was when I woke up this morning and heard that delightful tap-tapping on my roof! I grew up on the coast so am accustomed to copious amounts of rain. It rains so rarely in Kamloops, that when it finally does rain, it feels like a blessing. At this time of year rain means warm! It's only a few degrees above zero, but it is warmer than it has been in MONTHS. Yesterday it climbed to 12 degrees. I had the door open most of the day and the cats sat outside on the front step. They love it when the door is open, they hang out guarding the door, squinting and blinking in the sunlight.
When I opened the front door this morning, the air was so clean and yummy! It's the afternoon now and the sun is shining. Spring has SPRUNG!

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Honestly, I feel like I am hung over today. Since I haven't had a drink in almost 6 years, I feel a little put out by the feeling.
This weekend has been super eventful. My stepdaughter came on Friday and she is staying with us for a week. With her she brings her delightful son who bears a striking resemblance to my husband. I took special joy in the fact that he was cranky all morning until I (Grammy) picked him up and we spent a delightful hour wandering around the house and looking out windows.
He is an absolutely delightful child full of laughter and smiles, and when he gets cranky or starts barfing, I hand him back to his Mom.
I sang in the Karaoke Bar Wars Finals last night. I sang really well. I mean really, really well. I am a far better singer than I was last year and I rocked my songs. I don't care if that sounds arrogant, I know I sang ten times better than I did last year. Strangely, last year I got second, and this year I didn't place at all. But I was also the only person singing rock and roll. Out of 19 singers, all the rest sang country or pop. The awesome part, was that I was singing Rock and Roll and I had at least a half dozen elderly people tell me they liked my voice. I was sad I didn't place, but this year I made a point of singing what I wanted to sing rather than what I thought would help me win. I had an awesome time, and I had the whole bar absolutely screaming. I had over a dozen total strangers tell me that they thought I should have won or placed, which was gratifying.
I have been working diligently on my Valhalla Sweater , it is coming along beautifully and now that I am done all the entrelac the body feels like it's being knit at the speed of light! Swish!
Tomorrow I am back at work and I can't even begin to describe how very much I don't want to go. My boss will be back next week, she has been gone on vacation for over a month. I think as soon as she comes back I am going to take a week off as vengeance. I know it's petty, but she really left me holding the fort, and the work definitely did not match my paygrade.
I would love to continue writing and come up with some clever and witty for my readers (few though they may be, I usually try my best!) but unfortunately my knitting holds sway right now...so I will bid you adieu until I become frustrated yet again with stocking stitch.